{"id":1558,"date":"2020-03-26T20:32:39","date_gmt":"2020-03-26T20:32:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/theacousticeggbox.com\/?p=1558"},"modified":"2020-03-26T20:32:39","modified_gmt":"2020-03-26T20:32:39","slug":"my-coronadiary-tuesday-24th-march-2019","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/theacousticeggbox.com\/index.php\/2020\/03\/26\/my-coronadiary-tuesday-24th-march-2019\/","title":{"rendered":"My Coronadiary 24\/03\/2020 – Lockdown Lite"},"content":{"rendered":"
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To set the scene, it\u2019s 3pm and I\u2019m lazing in my garden, resplendently attired in speedos and silk kimono whilst basking in the sunshine like an albino elephant seal that\u2019s just broken into Liberace\u2019s boudoir.<\/p>\n

I suffer from insomnia during normal \u201csleeping\u201d hours, so working night shifts has really messed with my head. I now don\u2019t know what time, day or year it is; hell, I\u2019m not even sure what dimension I\u2019m in.<\/p>\n

So, because of last night\u2019s instruction from our PM that everyone should stay at home, I thought my little corner of Somerset would\u00a0enjoy\u00a0a few weeks of blissful near-silence.<\/p>\n

I even fashioned a bath-chair out of a reclining lounger (complete with tartan knee-blanket) so I could get out into our sun-trap garden for some much needed alfresco napping in the early spring warmth.<\/p>\n

But no, the nearby bypass sounds\u00a0flat out. Not just flat out, it actually\u00a0<\/span>sounds busier than normal. Therefore, as any chance of a fresh-air kip fades rapidly with each passing boy racer, rather than relaxing I\u2019m contemplating a \u201cFalling Down\u201d style murderous rampage instead.<\/p>\n

Maybe I\u2019ve been hallucinating because of a lack of sleep, but I was definitely under the impression that to help stop tens of thousands of people dying\u00a0in the UK, we were told to undertake essential journeys only. That\u2019s ESSENTIAL you dumb illiterate twats.<\/p>\n

This has led me to believe that the constant stream of traffic I\u2019m hearing can only mean one of two things: the people of Bridgwater are either\u00a0<\/span>really fucking needy, or really fucking thick.<\/p>\n

I know where my money\u2019s going…<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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To set the scene, it\u2019s 3pm and I\u2019m lazing in my garden, resplendently attired in speedos and silk kimono whilst basking in the sunshine like an albino elephant seal that\u2019s just broken into Liberace\u2019s boudoir. I suffer from insomnia during normal \u201csleeping\u201d hours, so working night shifts has really messed with my head. I now […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1559,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"default","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"default","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"default","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[476],"class_list":["post-1558","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-my-coronadiary"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/theacousticeggbox.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1558","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/theacousticeggbox.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/theacousticeggbox.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theacousticeggbox.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theacousticeggbox.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1558"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/theacousticeggbox.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1558\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theacousticeggbox.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1559"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/theacousticeggbox.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1558"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theacousticeggbox.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1558"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theacousticeggbox.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1558"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}